Modern Family actor Reid Ewing became obsessed with cosmetic surgery as he struggled with a crippling bout of body dysmorphia.
The 27 year old, who plays Sarah Hyland's onscreen boyfriend on the hit sitcom, revealed his troubles in a blog for the Huffington Post, admitting he used to believe his looks were the only thing that mattered.
"I had just moved to L.A. to become an actor and had very few, if any, friends," he wrote. "I'd sit alone in my apartment and take pictures of myself from every angle, analyzing every feature. After a few years of doing this, one day I decided I had to get cosmetic surgery. 'No one is allowed to be this ugly,' I thought. 'It's unacceptable.'"
At the age of 19, Reid met with his first cosmetic surgeon, adamant that if he went under the knife one time, he would "suddenly look like Brad Pitt." He decided to get cheek implants, but the procedure left him in excruciating pain.
He had to wear a full face mask after the surgery, and since he did not want to be seen in public, he spent two weeks in a hotel "doped up on (pain medication) hydrocodone."
Reid was not pleased with the final result, so he decided to find a new doctor to fix his botched procedure, and that surgeon was "less qualified" and suggested a chin implant as well.
He continued to undergo multiple cosmetic surgeries over the next couple of years, but was never fully satisfied with the outcomes.
"Each procedure would cause a new problem that I would have to fix with another procedure," he wrote. "Anyone who has had a run-in with bad cosmetic surgery knows this is true."
In 2012, Reid finally decided his addiction to going under the knife needed to stop, writing, "All the isolation, secrecy, depression and self-hate became too much to bear. I vowed I would never get cosmetic surgery again even though I was still deeply insecure about my looks. It took me about six months before I was comfortable with people even looking at me."
"Before seeking to change your face, you should question whether it is your mind that needs fixing," he suggested to those considering surgery. "It's a horrible hobby, and it will eat away at you until you have lost all self-esteem and joy. I wish I could go back and undo all the surgeries. Now I can see that I was fine to begin with and didn't need the surgeries after all."