Tristan Coopersmith: Perfecting the Art of the Pickup

Tweet

We may be proud masters of the art of sexting, able to seduce the recipient of our steamy texts into swapping naked pics, but what about when it comes to being able to successfully "pickup" a new guy/girl? Often our skills go from ten to zero once the anonymity of the screen and the comfort of the delete button are removed. Has living in a tech-obsessed world crippled our ability to hone our real life pickup skills?

Case in point: the pickup line I overheard this weekend: "If you were a booger, I'd pick you first." No one in the history of ever, was had at "booger."

So what is it about a line that is such a turn-off? A line is not only generic and insincere, but rarely can it engage he/she whose ears it falls upon. And I'm not just referring to the cheesy pickup lines. Even lines like, "Haven't I seen you here before?" or "You must be a (fill in random astrological sign HERE), right?" only require a yes/no response, as opposed to an inspired level of engagement. Also let us not forget the interrogation method: "What brings you here? Who did you come with? Where do you work?" As if he/she hasn't heard these umpteen times"¦ can I get a pillow with your line of questioning, please?

We've all either been on the receiving end of a pathetic pickup line or fired one off, but here are the TOP 5 lamest pickup lines heard in the scene this week:
1. You've gone to the top of my "To Do" list.
2. Are you from Tennessee? Because you are the only ten I see.
3. I may be no Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock!
4. I got so much money I stash it all over my house. Want to go for a treasure hunt?
5. I forgot my phone number, can I have yours?

To avoid the eye-roll, blank stare, or even the occasional slap across the face that often is the consequence of a lackluster pickup line, try these tactics instead and pretty soon your new verbal prowess will lead you to real world smiles and thus dates instead of an inbox full of virtual emoticons, and just late night sext sessions.

• Compliment him/her: Find something unique (an accessory, or an uncommon body part like the nose) that you dig about your prospect and let "˜em know"¦ also include a question about the compliment in play (i.e. where did you get that necklace, my little sister would love that!) to keep the conversation going.
• Share something with him/her: If you are sitting in a café, eating a decadent piece of chocolate cake, offer the cutie next to you a must-try bite. Eating together can be a very sensual experience, plus you appear generous"¦ not to mention who couldn't use one less bite of cake?
• Request help/ask for a recommendation: Maybe you notice your new crush has a gadget you've had your eye on, so inquire about it (let him/her be the expert!) "" or maybe you are at a coffee house and a hottie at a neighboring table is reading a book of interest, so ask if it would be a book he/she would recommend.
• Note something interesting (preferably funny) about your mutual surroundings: The world is full of observable moments so point one of them out to a cutie in a painfully long grocery store line to help pass the time.
• Ask for his/her opinion on a popular topic of interest: Having a few not-too-deep issues on hand that you are genuinely curious about that you can ask new eye candy for their thoughts on is sure to ignite charming conversation.