MIKEY GLAZER: The 8 Commandments of "The Hollywood Scene"

Published on Tuesday, November 17 2009

Written by YH STAFF CODY

"¢    Beware: Any email, invite, or evite to a club or event that that screams "VIP/Celebrity/A-List party" is none of the above.

"¢    Do not ask celebs to take photos with you. You didn't just walk off a star tour bus, did you?

"¢    Do not arrive "disrespectfully".  Disrespectfully means (A) "a bunch of dudes" or (B) after 11:45 when bars and clubs last call is usually at 1:30.  Flout these rules at your own peril. A + B = "C" you on the street cooling your heels.

"¢    There are only 2 places where it's cool to wait in line: Toast (on 3rd)  for lunches and the Griddle (on Sunset) on weekend mornings.  While on the subject, the longest line in LA is the one you don't want to be in: the herd outside Pink's on La Brea.  Rumor has it, you must have an "out of state" ID to be served there.

"¢    Nobody really bribes the guy at the rope.  An LA persuasion expert suggests: "If you're going to tip, tip $25"¦nobody does it, it feels like two bills in the palm of the hand, and they'll know at least one bill is a 20."

"¢    You're not supposed to actually swim at a "pool party". You're mainly supposed to lie on a bed tapping on your blackberry behind sunglasses getting drunk on Mojitos. Leave the suit at home. Exceptions: Coachella and gatherings under 8 people.

 

"¢    Re: Alcohol. This isn't college.  Throwing up in the bathroom is considered "indiscrete". Throwing up on the street may get you on TMZ.

"¢    Look Good! You never who you'll meet. You might end up marrying Britney Spears. (Note: Kevin Federline first met the pop princess at former scene-spot Joseph's (RIP) Mondays in 2004.

 

Hey Moses, think you're a Party God/Goddess yourself? Send me your own "commandments" to this address: mikey@thechimp.net

 

Mikey Glazer is always on the list. He's been covering events since his kindergarten's Valentine's Day cookie party, graduating to the Hollywood party circuit. He has contributed from behind the velvet rope for E! Entertainment Radio, US Weekly, and created the popular live celebrity sightings twitter, @CelebSightings.