Kesha: 'I forgot how to eat'

Written by . Published: October 04 2017

Kesha had forgotten how to eat at the height of her anorexia battle.

The Tik Tok singer eventually checked into rehab to tackle her eating disorder issues after finally realizing how miserable her dangerous diet had made her.


"I really just thought I wasn't supposed to eat food," she tells the new issue of Rolling Stone magazine, "and then if I ever did, I felt very ashamed, and I would make myself throw up because I'd think, 'Oh, my God, I can't believe I actually did that horrible thing. I'm so ashamed of myself because I don't deserve to eat food'.

"I was slowly, slowly starving myself (but) the worse I got and the sicker I got, the better a lot of people around me were saying that I looked. They would just be like, 'Oh my gosh, keep doing whatever you're doing! You look so beautiful, so stunning'."

Her eating disorder came to a head when attended a dinner party and tried to stop herself from enjoying all the food on offer.

"I just had all this mounting anxiety," she tells the publication. "And then finally I was like, 'I'm hungry!' I remember just shaking because I was so fed up, so anxious, and I was just mad that I had let myself get to that point."

She immediately called her mother, who signed the singer up for rehab.

"I didn't know how to even eat," Kesha recalls of her first meeting with a nutritionist. "At that point, I'd forgotten how to do it. I just remember crying into a carbohydrate, being like, 'I can't eat it. It's going to make me fat, and if I'm fat, I can't be a singer because pop stars can't eat food - they can't be fat'."